Monday, November 16, 2009

why do i need to start blogging after so long?

not just because it's time for my next trip (to bali in jan!)
but because i felt i needed to start writing again.

does this count as writing? i don't know. but it sure does feel good.

an avenue to just breathe out and let go. no worries. no one to judge.

how's life for me? hmmm. a whole load of question marks i guess.

i'm now single and not available. i'm definately not looking for a partner cos i'm frankly sick of trying so hard to please my partner in relationships and i just need a break. why did G and i break up after six fucking long years?

simple.

he was too busy with work to ever have time for me. and he just can't live with the word marriage or commitment.

thank god it ended sooner not later. i am relieved but i'm angry. why didnt he tell me earlier, or why put me through all the pain and the tearful nights? but yes i'm quite over it. i dont look at him anymore and go "ohhhh i love him". i just can't. there is no. more. love.

how is work?

work is good too. can't believe today is the day i end my 2.5 year bond officially! i am free to resign anytime! hahaha. which i dont think i would do. cos i am quite enjoying work minus the fact i hate ippt.

i love my colleagues. well i can safely say 95% of them. i'd rather not name who i enjoy being in the company with but maybe i'll name them with nicknames. soon. not now. but it's been good fun. ktv-ing, clubbing like krazie!, drinking and the occasional chill-out nights.

i love it. the freedom, the fun and the friends i'm with.

apart from work, there are my sec school friends whom i'm finally in good close touch with. that's good. being single gives me time to appreciate my friends and family more.

and then there's someone who makes my heart skip a beat everytime i see him from afar. no i'm not in love with him. no we'll never be together. no you'll never understand cos ur not me.

but he's my secret angel.

the one who's always been making me smile after a teary night. the one who knows that i prefer peanut waffles to chocolate ones. the one whose text i love to read over and over again because he makes me laugh. the one who really makes me feel like im worth it. why are my days brighter? because i know at the back of my head, no matter what happens, he'll be there to play my MJ songs.

i really like u both. the other person. u know who u are drunkard. :)